A Bloody Bad Day
by omggirlnotgirlygirl
Summary: Bella get's her monthly gift and Edward has no idea what to do. Alice comes to Edwards rescue and teaches Edward how to take care of Bella.... kinda. Really funny, especially because Alice actually has a period kit. It is rated T for a reason.
1. Clueless Edward

Edward's POV

Bella was shrieking at me from across the hallway about being polite. I had no idea why she was being so touchy.

The night before while I was laying next to her, she got mad at me and told me that I didn't always have to be by her side , so I left.

I decided to come back this morning to apologize for whatever the hell I did , and when she woke up she started yelling at me for not staying, because she was hot, and I would have

cooled her down.

" Bella I'm so sorry love. How about I make you some breakfast?" I said as I smiled her favorite crooked smile.

" no Edward, it's ok" she sniffled as she headed to the kitchen quietly.

"wait Bella, what's wrong, why are you sad now?" I said as I followed her.

My phone vibrated as we both reached the kitchen.

I flipped open my phone:

**_text message from Alice :_**_ genius! she's on her period, ask her if she wants some chocolates!_

I stared at the screen for a while before I texted Alice back : _what the hell is a period?!??!?!!?!?_

_**text message from Alice: **wow Edward, didn't you go through medical school twice, bring her to our house_

_that was weird _I thought to myself as I started rubbing Bella's back trying to calm her down.

Bella went to the counter when I noticed a big red blotch on her jeans.

" What's on your jeans Bella?" I asked as she cracked a couple of eggs.

She twisted her head and looked on her jeans. he face turned bright red, and she started running upstairs.

"what did I do now?" I yelled after her.

"Bella" I said through the bathroom door as I listened to her cry.

"Edward go away , I want to be alone " she screamed at me.

" Bella..." I started

"no Edward , I am serious I will rip your head off! " She yelled at me

Then I made a big mistake.

" like you could" I muttered, but it obviously wasn't quiet enough.

Bella slammed through the door.

"EDWARD MASON CULLEN YOU WENT TOO FAR!" she yelled with rage in her eyes.

She kicked me in the crotch 5 times before storming downstairs.

"Bella , Alice wanted to let you know that your invited over" I yelled after her as I rolled on the floor in pain.

"really? Lets go now!!" Bella said excitedly as she popped her head up the stairs.

_She is going insane_ I thought when she pulled me to the car jumping up and down.


	2. Secret Hideaway

Bella's POV

When we turned into Edward's driveway Alice ran out of the house in a blur. She handed me some chocolate and smiled sweetly at me. _Edward must have told her I was on my period, and _

_she was trying to get on my good side. I'll let her get away with it, because I really want some chocolate_. I thought to myself. Now extremely glad Edward couldn't read my mind. When we

went into the house Jasper smiled at me then excused himself as he ran out of the room. Great I was burdening them with the smell of my sweet blood. A tear trickled down my cheek as I

thought this, and Edward rushed over to me.

"what's wrong" he said after he ran over.

"nothing" I sniffled.

" Bella you can tell me" he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Anger pierced through me.

" I SAID IT WAS NOTHING EDWARD! GOD!" I screamed out, immediately regretting it.

Alice rushed over and smiled " Let's just watch T.V Bella"

I smiled at her , and we all sat down to watch T.V , at least anyone who could handle my sweet blood, even Alice was acting like a smoker and excusing herself outside every 20 minutes. I

sighed and used Edward's lap as a pillow while we watched Scrubs reruns.

A Wendy's commercial came on and I was practically drooling over the thought of a frosty.

" Edward..." I said slyly as I turned to him and smiled.

" yes my love?" he said sweetly as he kissed my forehead.

" Will you get me a frosty?" I attempted my best puppy dog eyes on him.

" of course" he said as he leaned in to kiss me.

_JUST HURRY UP AND GET ME THE FROSTY_ I thought in my head as Edward dragged the kiss on.

"Edward I would go get her the frosty now" Alice suggested as she smiled at me.

'Thanks' I mouthed at her as Edward grabbed his very unneeded coat and headed outside.

Alice's POV

A Wendy's commercial came on and I instantly had a vision of Bella eating a frosty well Edward was sitting in the corner trying to avoid her. I smirked.

"will you get me a frosty?" Bella said as she looked up at Edward with puppy dog eyes.

" of course " he said as he started slowly kissing her.

I was practically laughing as I had a vision of her screaming **to just get the damn frosty Edward!**.

" Edward , I would get her a frosty now" I said as I continued to snicker.

She mouthed thanks to me and I nodded my head, this was gonna be fun.

When I couldn't hear Edwards car anymore I turned to Bella and smiled slyly. Her smile faltered as she saw my face and I grabbed her hand and dragged her upstairs.

" oh no, not Bella Barbie, not today, please Alice!!!" she groaned as I opened my closet.

" of course not Bella" I smiled as I handed her some sweat pants and a Tank top.

" thank you sooo much!" she said relieved as she headed to the bathroom.

when she came out I put her hair in a quick pony tail and then I dragged her out into the forest.

" umm Alice where are we going" she said as she stepped over a root sticking out of the ground.

" a place you'll love" I said as we walked up to the old cottage.

Bella's POV

Alice had taken me to a small cabin. As we walked in I took in my surroundings. We were in a big cottage that had very comfortable couches set up in front of a huge T.V. , Their were

shelves on the wall that were filled with DVDs and video tapes. There was also a huge kitchen and a bookshelf of books next to an electric fire. It was like heaven.

" Alice where are we" I said as I stood amazed in the middle of the room.

" this is where all of us go when we are on our periods" she said excitedly.

" and we added a bedroom and kitchen for you" she added.

I stared in pure amazement of what the house was like, completely frozen.

" well do you like it" she squealed.

I turned to her and grabbed her in a tight hug before screeching " Alice I LOVE IT!!!"

I ran around the house and grabbed a chocolate bar before I stopped right in front of Alice.

" wait, you guys still get your periods" My face wrinkled in confusion.

" well yea, we never age" Alice said matter-of-factly.

" in fact, I have a surprise!!!" she said , looking a little to excited.

" what?" I said starting to get worked up about whatever it was.

" I'm on mine today too!! and after all of these years, I have made the perfect period kit." She said as she grabbed my hand again and dragged me into a room upstairs.

"oh great" I muttered to myself.

**I got so many responses to this story , so I just had to write more! I need your opinion though, in the next couple of stories would you rather**

**(a) see the stories of when Alice , Esme , and Rosalie each got their first period. (promised hilarious moments)**

**(b) see Edward try to actually deal with moody Bella**

**(c) see what is in Alice's period pack**

**I will do all of these by the end of the story, I just want to know which one you guys want first!! Let me know!! and I hope you enjoyed this Chapter!  
**


	3. Alice's First

Alice's First period

My mom told me the first day of 5th grade what a period was.

" and that is what a period is sweety" she said as she gave me my backpack.

With a disgusted look on my face and worry spreading through my head I went to my first day of 5th grade. That whole month I was freaking out about getting my period.

But I never got it, not 5th grade or 6th , not even 7th or 8th. In 9th grade panic started and my mom took me to the Doctor , but they told us to wait, and that it was just because I was

such a tiny girl. Carlisle soon took my regular life , and gave me a new eternal one when I was in 9th or 10th grade, I forgot which. At first, being a teenage girl , I loved the part about

being beautiful, but it was definitely a downside for wanting to always drink peoples blood. But after a year, I had the control thing down.

**********************************************************************************

" want to go hunting" Rosalie said as she put her hair in a messy bun.

" Yea I guess" I mumbled as I pulled on my shoes.

My stomach had really hurt this morning. I was trying not to let anyone know because I was very deathly afraid of actually knowing why me, a vampire could have a stomach ache.

As we ran through the forest looking for some deer the pain got more intense.

" rose I need to go" I mumbled as I ran through the tree's.

By the time I was home my stomach hurt so much that my eyes stung with tearless crying.

**************************************************************************************

" hey Alice" Emmet smiled as he picked my up over his shoulder.

" ow Emmet, put me down now!" I yelled being upset that my stomach still hurt.

" ow? I just picked you up" he said as he put me down on the couch.

" I know.. I said as the tearless crying started again.

I'm not sure Emmet really got that I was crying, but Esme sure did.

" Carlisle" she called as she ran to my side.

" Alice.. try to remember the big talks you had with your mom" Carlisle said as he looked up from my chart.

_Sex talk, drug talk , boys talk, driving talk, college talk _I went through the list in my head.

_importance of driver's license , responsibility of having gerbil_ , _puberty talk _The last one stuck in my head.

How could I be so stupid?

" you can get a period.. when your a vampire??" I said my voice shaking a bit.

" yes" Esme said as she groaned jokingly.

" you can't take pill's for the pain because your a vampire, so you just have to try to cope with the cramps." Carlisle added before I left his room , glad I couldn't blush.

After I heard the last bit of his sentence I broke down in the hallway.

Being the over dramatic girl I sat in the middle of the hallway and yelled " NO!!" as Jasper tried to comfort me, and kissed me on the forehead.


	4. Alice is Insane isn't she?

Bella's POV

After Alice had dragged me all the way up to the room, she went in a pulled a huge box out of the closet, i stared in amazement as she pulled everything out of the box and described it to me.

_The item from THE box: _ what Alice says about them:

_pads_: a must have!!!! ( a little too excited if you ask me)

_chocolate_: awhh I remember chocolate she said sweetly before she shoved it away.

_Every chick flick (on DVD) that came out this year_: updated every year she said with a smile.

_tissue box and fake thermometer_: It keeps away the boys she whispered slyly

_two huge pillows_: oops, these are for later, she said as she threw them on a bed.

_$100_ : for cravings

Then the regular stuff stopped, if you can call that regular.

_A rubber chicken_ : Keeps a smile on your face

_A kitten_ **(that was in a cage somewhere else , not in the box lol)**: for comfort

_A blow up guy_ : in case they make you mad, she smiled menacingly

She then stood up and pointed to a closet in the corner.

"Those are all the sweat pants you need." she said as she swept open the doors.

"Alice, you really did all of this just for one week you guys would each be spending here?" I said still amazed by the house.

" of course!" she said as she dragged me downstairs.

***********************************************************************************

Alice had made me watch at least 5 chick flicks before she let me use the phone to call Edward. It was like a really nice comfortable jail.

" Edward, alice has gone insane and I really want to be with you" I hissed through the phone.

Edward noted my tone of voice and right away commented " are you sure you don't want to just kill me"

" just get over her now" I yelled before I hung up on him.

Guys could just be so inconsiderate. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed some ice cream. Shoving it into my mouth was the only excuse I had for not talking to Alice.

**************************************************************************

Edward's POV

I rushed over to Bella as soon as I could. She had sounded so pissed on the phone. It took me a while to find the cottage because I tried not to go there often. When I walked in Bella

rushed up to me and she grabbed my arm.

" What took you so long" she said as she dragged me up the stairs.

" Bella, I'm sorry your mad, I got here as soon as I could." I mumbled as she continued dragging me.

" I'm not mad" she laughed as she pulled me into a room and closed the door.

Bella emmediatly started kissing me as soon as she shut the door. I was starting to like this period thing, whatever the hell it was.

**********************************************************

Jasper's POV

Alice had texted me to get my butt over here, and I had never run faster.

" yes my love?" I said as I planted a kiss on her forehead and sat next to her.

" Do you want to watch a movie" she said sweetly.

" of course " I said smiling the biggest smile ever.

Good she wasn't mad at me, man am I getting good at dealing with her.


	5. Jasper's Expirement

Jasper's POV

I was sitting down with Alice watching _Another Cinderella story_ When she turned toward me with her face filled with rage.

" JASPER , WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE ANOTHER GIRL? OMG YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH ANOTHER GIRL (mad). HOW COULD YOU DARE TO DO THAT JASPER(sad). BUT YOU WOULD

NEVER CHEAT ON MY WOULD YOU(happy/doubt). JASPER WHAT'S GOING ON(confusion)!?!?!?!?!JASPER I CAN DO BETTER THEN HER....(lust)"

Her emotions were flooding through me, and I could barely process her words. She was ranting too fast to understand half of it.

"I CAN'T STAND IT" I yelled through her rant.

" Jasper what's going on?" she repeated with true Rage emulating from her.

" I don't want to tell you" I said as I hid my face.

She kept glaring at me even though I begged her to just change the subject.

" Jasper" She said as a warning.

" you have one minute to explain yourself " she screamed as she pulled up my head.

Edward came down the stairs laughing. I eyed his ruffled shirt and messy hair and smirked at him.

_' Eddie finally got some game? ' _ I thought

He growled and said "At least I didn't try girls deodorant and matching body spray."

I whimpered, and Alice stared back and forth between Edward and I.

She started laughing as the anger gently left her.

" You put on body spray for girls and deodorant for girls?" she said as she started a full on giggle fit.

" Yes" I said as I hid my face from her and Edward.

Bella came down the stairs and raised one eyebrow at Edward. Edward whispered in her ear and she started giggling.

" SHUT UP!!!" I yelled as I slammed the door.

Just when I was about to run I heard Alice yell to me through giggles " your a bit moody Jasper, is it that time of month?"

I heard Alice and Bella start laughing even harder , but Edward just said "what?"

I snickered at how clueless Edward was.

_oh this is payback _I thought hoping he would hear it. I laughed and rushed off to Emmett , maybe he would help...

**thank you all so much!! I have gotten such a big response to this story!! So many people added this story to their favorites, I just want to thank you all and let you know that I plan to continue on this story to at least 13 chapters or more!! I love getting reviews, and they help me start writing again *wink wink* XXXX omggirlnotgirlygirl p.s : sorry this chapter is a little bit of a side thing but it connects perfectly with the following chapters!! Can't wait until ( get it on paper (or online) so you can see it all unravel.**


	6. Edward's Time of Month

Alice's POV

" Jasper... why? why would you wear girls deodorant and body spray?" I said with pure curiosity.

"because it smelt kinda good" he mumbled with his head down.

" is that it?" I said trying to get more out of him.

"no" he whispered.

" It smells good , and it helps me resist Bella..." He said to me with his eyes pleading to let him go.

" jasper is that it?" I said with unbelief.

" yea..." he said sounding hurt.

" that is nothing to be embarrassed about! the situation was kinda hilarious, but Jasper... If this helps it is good." I said as I rubbed his back.

" but now Edward and Bella know, so I need to get him back!" He said angrily.

"so what's your plan?" I said happily.

He stared at me with amazement and then he leaned towards me.

" Emmett and I are going to tell Edward that a period is the time of month where girls get moody for no reason. We are going to tell him it lasts a week, and girls just pronounced it as a

week where guys have to do whatever they say."

I glared at Jasper and said " Jasper, I know you can do pranks better then that! Wow you and Emmet are really lagging off."

"well do you have a plan?" Jasper said irritably

"Yes, I have the perfect plan! We are going to sabotage Edward into doing the opposite thing Bella wants!" I said evilly.

"and how are we going to do that?" He said.

" well just follow me" I whispered to him as I grabbed his hand.

Bella's POV

I walked into the room Alice had dragged me into before. I hate to admit it but her box of supplies was useful, I pulled out 3 chick flicks , the rubber chicken , and $50. Today was going to

be fun! No matter how much I denied it the rubber chicken did make you laugh. After I was down rolling around on the floor laughing, I put in the first chick flick and lay down on the couch.

I was in the middle of my movie Edward barged through the door. He sat next to me with a huge smile on his face.

" Bella , I have decided that because you are going through your period , I'm going to experience the same thing just for you." he said as he continued smiling proudly.

Jasper walked in and laughed at Edward and I, Oh great he was going to make Edward moody. Edward walked to the kitchen and shoved a fistful of food in his mouth.

" my stomach , oww" he yelled immediately as he swallowed.

My anger was boiling up.

"EDWARD!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???!?!?!?!" I yelled at him , his face turning into horror.

" Bella... I'm going to go through what your going through" he said innocently.

"that is the stupidest thing I've heard come out of your mouth Edward! You can not even begin to make up for what I'm going through" I screamed at him as Alice and Jasper stood back

and watched the show.

"Bella I'm sorry" Edward said as he began to glare at Alice.

" Bella please just forgive me I thought you would like this.." he was cut off as he began clutch his stomach.

He ran off to the bathroom and threw up the food he'd stuffed in his mouth.

" you deserve it!" I screamed as I ran into my room.

**Thank you for all the response I'm getting from this story yet again! I hope you liked this chapter, and I'm sorry if you were confused about why Jasper would wear girls deodorant because I got quite a couple reviews asking why! **


	7. Bella's First

_**This is the story of Bella's first period**_

I don't own Twilight.....

*********************************************************************888

**12 year old Bella's POV**

"Hi jen , did you watch hero's last night?" I said as I dumped my huge backpack on my desk.

" ya it was sooo sweee-eeet" she said as we high-fived eachother.

" so Jen what did you want to say last night before your mom kicked you off the phone?" I said as I pulled out my gym shoes.

" That I have such a big crush on Jim right now, he is soo nice" she said fastly her face slightly red.

My eyes bulged out in suprise as I tried to get Jen to shut up.

"what is wrong with you today?" Jen said as she finally shut up about Jim.

I dramatically looked over my shoulder so that Jen's eyes would follow. her eyes followed mine finally falling on Jim's red face staring at Jen.

"omg" she whispered before she ran off to the bathroom.

I grabbed my backpack and headed to the door to follow her.

"Wait" Jim grabbed my arm and I twisted my head towards him.

" I like her too" he whispered before he let me run off to her.

****************************************************************************************

" OMGSH JEN YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!" I yelled as soon as I ran through the bathroom door.

" what?" Jen said bitterly as she came out of a stall with a puffy face.

" He likes you too" I squelled as I hugged her and we jumped up and down.

"OMG OMG OMG" we both yelled in excitement.  
"AHH you have a boyfriend!!!!" I yelled as we jumped up and down.

" ok lets make your face look a little less red" I said after we calmed down sympathetically turning to get some paper towel.

Once I fixed her face we headed off to the gym.

**********************************************************************

" today we are going to go to a park to play freeze tag because it is the first day back from spring break, get in line outside the door, I just need to grab the jerseys." Ms. Lewwy

announced as we all rushed out the door at the word "park"

Just when we started the second round of Freeze tag my pants felt a little wet. I slowed down next to Jen and a guy in my class slammed into me. I was frozen in the middle of the field

when my friend Anna pulled me aside.

" bella you started your period, it's all over your pants" she said urgently pulling me aside of the current game.

"Crap I need a sweatshirt NOW" I said as I ran over to Jen.

" Jen do you have a sweatshirt" I said as the tears started coming.

" no ... why?" she asked.

I turned around and her mouth turned into a tight little 'o' before she told me to sit down and she paraded around asking everyone for a sweatshirt, my face was bright red.

came over to me with a mad face.

" Bella Swan why are you not participating?" she demanded.

The tears started pouring out again " Ikindagotmyperiod-sob-andididn'tnow-sob-andihaveastain-sob" I jumbled out in a big heap of words.

she smiled at me and leaned toward me " you have my permission to go back to school to the office and go home" she whispered as she pat my back. So that's why I was a shaking girl

with tears down her cheek running down the road covering her butt.


	8. rocket ships!

**This is my only disclaimer because I forgot I had to put one up... I do not own Twilight :( all of these characters came from her idea's not mine.**

Emmet's POV

One minute Rose was sitting next to me watching t.v and then she started screaming at me. I hadn't done anything wrong this day so far. Then I remembered last night.

" rose, I didn't mean to drip bleach on your favorite shirt last night, it was a big accident" I whimpered out waiting for her to give up on my utter adorable-ness.

" YOU DID WHAT TO MY SHIRT?!!?!?!??!?!!?" she screamed at me as she grabbed my ear.

"Emmet this means no sex for a week and I'm taking your X-box away" she hissed at me before she grabbed my X-box and ran off.

_**shit she didn't actually know... where is she going???**_

Edward must have heard me because I could hear him laughing at me from his room.

" At least I'm not a ma-Jillian year old virgin" I screamed at him before racing after Rose.

***************************************************************************************

By the time I caught up with her she slammed through the door at that weird cottage all the girls loved. They usually kicked me out whenever I went in so I climbed up a tree by a window.

I looked through the window opposite from me and saw Jasper and Alice making out, the most disgusting thing ever! such horrible form. I climbed over to the next window which was the

bathroom. I climbed to the window and jumped in. The cupboard was slightly open with weird packages spilling out from it. I opened up the package and a small tube fell out. I pushed a

weird thing out of it that looked like a rocket ship! It even had a string that made it look like fire jets.

" SWEET!!!" I yelled out.

Bella's POV

I was walking down the hall when I heard someone yelling in the bathroom. I knocked on the door and all I heard was some muttering. I opened the door and Emmet was sitting on the

floor.

" Houston we have a problem" He was throwing lots of tiny rockets in the air , wait those weren't rockets... they were...

"EMMET WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!? WHY ARE YOU THROWING TAMPONS ALL OVER" I screamed at him my face getting hotter and hotter.

He turned to me and screamed at my reaction. Rose , Alice , Jasper, and Edward all came running into the room. The girls each had a turn screaming at him, and Jasper left because of the

emotions.

" no sex for a month, no kissing for a month UGHH" Rose was screaming at him the most, we had all left already, the excitement already fizzed out.

At this point I could hear Emmet tearlessly crying. I thought he deserved it. Edward and I just turned up the sound on our movie. I was glad Edward wasn't that stupid.


End file.
